Monday, November 26, 2012


Dear Pea,
I was so hopeful that we would not have to give you Tylenol during your first year. So determined to make that a last last resort, praying that acupressure and gua sha and homeopathic remedies would be enough.  But with your last illness, your temperature rose and after a sleepless night of wailing and discomfort, we called the doctor who told us to give you Tylenol, and we did immediately. Half a dose only, because your mama is crazy. It was like magic. Within 15 minutes, you settled down, your fever dropped and you slept most of the day.  And were 100% better 48 hours later, with only a bit of a runny nose to show for your awful cold.

Giving you Tylenol felt like failing on my part. Why can't I keep you healthy? Why did we have to turn to drugs? Why can't I make you better on my own?  And, then, as soon as it was administered and you felt better, I laughed at my own neurosis.  I don't have control.  I never did, I never will. I have to make the best choice in each case and sometimes that's Tylenol.  Duh

Other ways that I have failed my expectations:
  • I did not want you watching TV at all in your first 3 years, and then only very sporadically. Well, you love watching TV with Daddy and he loves watching it with you and you are being exposed to sports and music and language and are happy and healthy.
  •  I couldn't imagine you sleeping in our bed at all, let alone for almost 11 months (and no end in sight). I thought it would be uncomfortable or strange or hard on Daddy and me.  It's actually the greatest thing ever-we all sleep so well and it's so nice for both of us to wake up to your smiling face and your cheerful chatter
  • I thought I'd feel more judgement from the outside world and less sure of myself and my choices. There are moments, to be sure, but they are so far less than I anticipated. We are figuring it out and we don't really care what other people think or say. How freeing!
It has been so long since I updated this blog, so of course there have been more advancements. You pull yourself up more and more these days and let go for a few seconds, testing your balance for standing on your own.  You are very happy to be without me in certain situations: babysitting at the Y (finally you've realized it's a whole room of toys that you don't have at home! And other kids to play with! Awesome!), hanging out with your grandparents (Thanksgiving you played for hours on end, not missing me as I was cooking or chatting with my friends, drinking wine) and anytime you're with Daddy.  I've been teaching more and making more appointments and you're so totally fine with me gone.   You also are quite the adventurer. You love exploring all the places in our apartment, especially the bathroom. You are way more into your toys, spending hours during the day taking them off shelves and playing with them.  You also love being thrown in the air and hanging upside down.

 toy wreckage in your wake 

caught trying to investigate under the bed


We spend a lot of time like this

 scattered blocks in the background, curious Pea coming to investigate the camera


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  2. Grow Pea Grow! You simply are the cutest!

    Mommy-I too struggled with the Tylenol issue and ended up in the exact same situation with a fever. Like magic it was better. What was I trying to prove? Now, I wish I was the one to invent it!

    Love your blog updates- makes us feel like we don't live miles apart. What a gift the blog will be for Pea (and you someday)