Real Smiles

Dear Pea,
Your quiet alert time has increased significantly in the past week or two.  You are often awake and happy for an hour at a time, two or three times a day sometimes.  You take in your surroundings, without judgement, often without comment.  This week we went to the mama/baby meeting and you were happily awake for the first time, for almost two hours. You enjoyed the din of the 20 or so other mama/baby pairs, the hum of the room.  You shared some glorious smiles with me, making me the envy of the nearby moms whose babies aren't quite as old or aren't quite as cheerful.

You smile at your daddy in the mornings when he holds you while I brush my teeth and arrange a bit of breakfast.  You just figured out that my face is attached to my breasts and that I am always there when you nurse: huge smiles.  You smiled at your Auntie Beth when she came to give me acupuncture; she commented that she has friends who aren't that excited to see her. 

Your eyes are starting to focus more.  You have not noticed your beautiful handmade mobile yet, but you have been checking out its shadow on the wall. 

Our daily routine is fairly consistent: get out of bed around 8am, eat breakfast and play.  You fall asleep around 10am so I get a shower and maybe even a workout.  This nap is usually short and you usually wake up hungry, so I nurse you again.  The early afternoon you are usually awake and alert, we dance around the apartment, listen to music, read stories.  Around 1 or 2 or 3, depending on your mood and what I have scheduled, we go out for a walk. Wednesdays and Fridays at 2pm we hang out with other mamas in the 'hood, other days we go to yoga, or Trader Joes, or both.  Sometimes we do laundry, or drop it off.  Sometimes I walk aimlessly, exploring new streets and sometimes I take us to destinations on purpose.  You most often sleep during this time, a 2 to 3 hour nap is common. We are usually home by 4 or 5 and you are hungry from your long nap.  We nurse until your daddy comes home. 

Often you are fussier in the evenings, but lately you have been happy enough to see your daddy that you bestow some smiles on him before starting in on the screaming.  The days blur together, but are always fun. Some days are harder than others, some days I am tired.  You are a great sleeper and I am grateful for that-I am not nearly as tired as my other mama friends.

Already the time is going so fast and you have grown and changed.  I love that you are thriving and growing into your world, but I want to preserve a memory of it.  I don't want everything to be a blur.  I am trying to be more present in my life and to savor it.  And you are so very delicious, this role in my life is the perfect place to practice savoring.