fussin' & fightin'

Dear Pea,
It's definitely been a challenging week, and it's only Thursday.

It started last Sunday.  It was my parents anniversary, the first anniversary that they weren't able to celebrate together.  The weather here was horrendous, pouring and windy, but Daddy and I really wanted to look at apartments.  So out we ventured, all of us getting drenched and wind whipped. The apartment hunt was discouraging and you were very unhappy to be trekking around.  Usually these days, the meltdowns are few and far between.  Last Sunday, you had several.I've taken you out in the rain and wind before and you've never really reacted the way you did Sunday, but you screamed the entire way home after both apartments.  I think that you were picking up on my sadness and missing my mom. Or I was distracted and not paying close enough attention to your cues until it was too late to realize that you were tired, hungry, frustrated or whatever.  But it was a sad day.

And then there seemed to have been a regression in your tolerance for other people taking care of you. All three times I went to teach class, you had a long meltdown. It's so sad for the people taking care of you and so sad for me.  I am still questioning if I should be teaching class at all, I may take a break for a month to give you some more adjustment time.  We'll see.  The last couple of weeks were better, so I'm hoping it's just this rough week and that next week will be better.  It can't help that I am sad this week, I know how much your emotions shadow mine.  We both have had a lot of tears.

In other, happier news, you are sleeping through the night!  I have been waking up at 5 or 6 with one breast completely engorged (ouch) because you have been too busy sleeping to eat. I usually take you to bed between 9:30 and 10 and sometimes you've been asleep for an hour or so, so you're sleeping 8 or 9 hours in a row.  And I usually switch positions so I can get my full full full boob in your mouth, and you eat without even waking up.  We go back to sleep until 7 or 7:30 or 8.

We have also been to two exercise classes this week and will go to another one tomorrow and you are liking them! Hooray for me! We did yoga on Tuesday and I got to do almost the entire mama part.  When it was time to play with the babies, the first song we sang was The Itsy Bitsy Spider and your eyes lit up at me-you were telling me "I know this song!! I like this one!!" Then we did Head Shoulders Knees and Toes and you couldn't hide your delight, laughing as though being tickled.  So it definitely has not been all bad.  The bright spots still far FAR outweigh any hardships.  I love you so much.